In life there will always be people, who along with their own problems, shoulder the burdens of others. For some, they appear to have little choice, deposited upon them unasked for. For others, its a choice!

Its the people who choose, the latter, that I would like to talk about. They tell themselves that they are helping. That without their help the person with the problem, would not cope, or are unable to resolve the situation properly for themselves. They will not see it as interference, they will not see it as dis empowering, and they will definitely not see, that it is coming from their ego.

The Ego likes to be in control, if it can also control others, it is even happier. For some, it is just their way and may even be on an unconscious level. There is also the need, to be needed, to feel indispensable. Self growth means addressing this and other negative aspects of the ego and personality. Stripping away the layers the ego covers itself with, to see it for what it truly is.

People need to make their own decisions. If they have made mistakes or errors of judgment, it is only by dealing with the ‘fall out’, or ‘consequences’ of their actions that they will learn, what works for them and what doesn’t. What will cause pain to oneself and to others.

Be an ‘empowerer’ an ‘encourager, but never tell someone what you would do. When we take personal responsibility away from someone, no matter how well meant our intentions are, we are depriving them of the opportunity to grow and mature.

If we continue to keep trying to ‘rescue’ people, who will ‘rescue’ them when we are not around. If you really love and care about someone, show your respect for them and faith, that they have the ability within themselves to make good decisions based on what they need or want in their lives. You can’t know what is right for someone else as no one else can know what you need. By doing this, you will really be helping them, in the best possible way.

When we walk a spiritual path, it is full of highs and lows. The importance of having like minded people to share it with can not be underestimated. I found this quote recently and it really touched me. “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and sings it back to you, when you have forgotten how it goes.”

Life, can be likened to a fast flowing river. The conditions the obstacles, difficulties you encounter upon the river, are very similar to the circumstances of your life.

The water, is alternates between being calm and clear, to rapid and turbulent. You discover strong currents, comparable to strong emotions that run through you! The depth of your being can appear to be deceptively calm, but swirling within, submerged boulders, can stop you in your tracks.These are your fears and doubts. The river, can take this route or that, as with life choices..some can appear risky, but are short and lead you to safe waters. Alternatively there are others that appear calm and safe yet hide many dangers.


You traverse the river upon a raft that you have made yourself..in life you use yourself, your strength, skills and emotional insight. Your ability to navigate the river, life..is dependent on how well prepared you are. The skills available to you are drawn from the knowledge and wisdom you have acquired in your life, up till this point. They are great teachers, as are the signposts… friends, mentors and teachers you have met along the way.

At each stage in our life, we seem to go through a period of initiation. It is at this point, many of us hesitate and lack confidence in ourselves. Try to remember, that the only thing that stops you from moving forward is your own lack of self belief.

You are already well on your way, you are self aware and self realisation is always just a foot step away.“Only as high as I can reach, can I grow. Only as far as I seek, can I go. Only as deep as I look can I see. Only as much as I dream, can I be”.

The spiritual path is not a solitary path, it is one filled with love, light and laughter and there is always help along the way. For..“when the flower blooms, the bees come uninvited” Ramakrishna.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, how you have found your journey so far and to share with you any insight that you have discovered.

If you want to succeed, you’ve got to believe; and most importantly in yourself. You more then anyone else in this world deserves to be happy.

In the words of Alan Cohen  “Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out”.

Self-esteem is described as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities, and pertains to a personal appraisal of ourselves. Yet, unfortunately, we often make this evaluation based on cues we receive from society. In other words, we look to others to establish who we are, how we should behave, and how we are valued, even though this social reflection is not an accurate indicator of who we are and what we are capable of.

The bottom line is, try not to rely totally on the outside world to validate who you are. A better option is look at ways to redress the balance by believing in, and validating yourself. However, so often you are your own worst enemy. You berate yourself, nitpick every little failure (while ignoring your successes), and you doubt your skills and potential.

If you can strengthen your belief in yourself, there is no doubt that you will succeed. To help you strengthen your belief in yourself, here are 5 ways to get you started.

1. Go with your gut instincts, be guided by your intuition. This may seem a risky thing to do, but it is better then sitting on the fence prevaricating.  No matter who you are, making a decision that can completely change your life is completely scary. You can never know what crossroad is the right choice to take until it’s too late to turn back.

Often what can seem like a bad choice or decision can often turn out to be the best thing you ever did. Because taking a risk, gets you out of your comfort zone. It stretches you. You try new things. You discover an aptitude or talent for a skill or interest you have never attempted before. This can only enhance your self confidence. If it goes wrong, you will have discovered new strengths within yourself, by dealing with the fallout. There is no such thing as a meaningless experience in life, good or bad, we learn many valuable lessons.

2. Write down what makes you unique. Writing down your strengths and abilities, your positive qualities is a wonderful exercise. People often finish doing this amazed. Seeing it down in black and white is so affirming. I challenge anyone who says, that they do not feel better about themselves after doing this.

3. Recall the adversities you’ve endured. You are a little bruised or have been badly hurt by negative experiences, but you have survived! Many, will focus on being the victim. They will  not get passed this and it is so damaging to the self esteem and the psyche. Long after the storm has passed, they are still hiding from the elements. But you are NOT a victim. You made it through, you came out the other side.This means you are strong! You are brave! You have courage! How can you NOT believe in yourself. By viewing these experiences from this perspective, it will change the way you view what has happened to you, and shift from a negative mindset to a positive one. 

4. Claim ownership of your dreams and life. No one is going to hand you your dreams and no one has the right to take them away from you. So you must take full ownership of them and your life. Your dreams aren’t going to be achieved without you or without you believing in yourself. Decide today, that you are going to take that step forward the first step of many to realising your dreams and your goals in life. It only takes one little step! Do not allow others to undermine or diminish your dreams or faith in yourself. We all have a talent, a genuis for something. It is simply a process of finding out what yours is.

A quote I love by Albert Einstein says “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid”. A brilliant man, who knew what he was talking about. This is why it is so important, not to judge or measure your worth by the opinions of others. Or by understimating your own potential and abilities by becoming over awed or impressed by the achievements of others. The only difference between you and them, is that they have found what they excel at and your potential is awaiting your discovery. But never doubt that it is not there!

5. Strengthen your belief that things will work out. May Rowland said “When faith becomes a flame in man’s mind, he sees by the light of this flame that there are no impossible situations. He knows that there is a way through every difficulty.”  Joseph Murphy said  “Imagine the happy ending or solution to your problem, feel the thrill of accomplishment, and what you imagine and feel will be accepted by your subconscious mind and bring it to pass.” 

These are wonderful inspiring words, words to live by. Written by people, who have been through the same experiences and self doubt in themselves that we have. What we think what we believe in, creates our outer world. It is the inner fire of self belief that motivates and propels us forward. All these things are yours for the asking, all you have to do, is BELIEVE in YOU.

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